Mom has Dementia, her house, finances and health are a mess! What can I do?

Many of the calls I get go a little something like this:

  I recently visited my mom and she has declined so quickly from last time I saw her. Unpaid bills are piled up everywhere. I am not sure what she has paid and what she hasn't. She said something about having done a reverse mortgage on the house but she isn't sure who with or where that money is. She donated a bunch of money to a "good guy who stopped by the house" all of the food in her fridge is expired. There are dirty dishes and trash all over the house. She was always so meticulous about the house.  She is forgetting to take her medication and I am not sure she is showering often enough. I really think it's time for me to start taking things over for her and potentially look at moving her into a nursing home but she freaks out when I mention it. I don't think she will go willingly and she got really mad when I mentioned she might need help managing her bills. When I went to talk to her bank they said I need a power of attorney. Can I get one?  I am not sure she is able to understand signing paperwork like that anymore, she gets really confused. I have also heard about guardianship or conservatorship. How do you get guardianship over an adult?

So many kids, grandkids, or spouses are in exactly this situation. They are trying to figure out what to do to help their loved one be safe, protect their assets and provide for their care. If this is where you are its time to contact an elder law attorney. They can help with things like interpreting a power of attorney to see how to put it into effect. Answer questions like; does the power of attorney require doctors notes? If so, how many doctors notes are needed? Is it effective in Colorado etc? If there isn’t a power of attorney how to get one. Does your loved one understand enough to sign that kind of document? Worst case scenario the attorney will petition the court for what’s called an adult guardianship to help gain power over the loved one as a person and manage their health and welfare. The attorney can also petition for an adult conservatorship to be able to help manage their finances.

These scenarios can be some of the most challenging circumstances family members will face. However, being able to intervene sooner rather than later can keep a loved one safer, healthier and provide them with better care.